Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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