People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
