Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
