I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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