He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
