Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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