Someone shit on the floor
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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