His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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