Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
50% drunk capacity currently
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
