Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
