you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
