So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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