Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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