Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
