There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
