she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
