that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
