Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I bet he comes in French.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize