dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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