Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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