I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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