i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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