I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
its liver damage thursday
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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