I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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