He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
