S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
