no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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