Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
