Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
