He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
