You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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