I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
