wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
