wanna go halves on a baby?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
