The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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