This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
