i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Found your dick twin last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
