Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Found your dick twin last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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