Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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