My nipple is on Facebook.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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