Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
