You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
