I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
