i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
