How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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