I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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