Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
