On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
