is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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