Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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