It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
