I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
