I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
