Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
don't judge my taste in strippers
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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