Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
