Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
