Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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