Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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