Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
