none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
