no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's always time for handjobs
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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