Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
