Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
