I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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