We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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