There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
