Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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