I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
